im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Houston, we have a squirter
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
