I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize