my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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