whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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