after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
