That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
