I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
The Olympian is in my bed
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
