Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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