when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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