South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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