I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
