you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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