Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
