so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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