legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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