She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
