hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize