you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
