That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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