she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
