Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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