"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
