Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
