Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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