I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
