just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
