We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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