God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
