Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
