I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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