I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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