Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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