Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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