I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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