There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
