I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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