Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
