You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
