How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
