they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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