Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
