this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
