i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
