I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
