Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize