He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
