I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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