does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
