HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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