Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He did a backflip because drugs
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
