remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
