O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
