you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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