I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
