so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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