Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
4 words: hood of his car
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
