Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
