Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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