I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
