they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We left the knife in your bed.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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