Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
