I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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