I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
