We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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