Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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