So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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