If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
