You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
