I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
