that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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