You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
