what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
