they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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