He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
